


Ballum Drabbles

by messedup



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Warnings at the beginning of each chapter!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-11
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 06:40:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 5,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23347078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/messedup/pseuds/messedup
Summary: Just a collection of short drabbles written over on tumblr mostly as a reaction to spoilers or scenes :)* Chapter 11: Written after Monday's ep. My take on how Lexi could possibly react if Ben and Callum were to have an argument/split up.
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Comments: 34
Kudos: 156





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> To be honest, some of these are so short that they might not even be worth the read (like the first chapter oops), but I wanted to have all my writing in one place here on Ao3, so please bear with me :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Callum´s POV of the scene where Ben finds him in the warehouse
> 
> Taking no credit for this one as it was written as reaction to this post/idea from @ballum-schmallum on tumblr:  
> https://ballum-schmallum.tumblr.com/post/611164146441043968/when-ben-put-his-coat-over-callum-even-though
> 
> CHAPTER WARNINGS: -

Callum thought he had heard someone scream. 

Ben. 

Maybe his mind was playing tricks on him again, it had quite often the last few hours - or was it days? Callum didn’t know. He just… he needed to rest his eyes.

When he gathered consciousness again there were voices around him, he was sure of it this time. A hand was stroking through his hair and he wanted to lean into the touch, but his body wouldn’t move. And then there was warmth. Something draping over him, shutting out the cold wind.

Faintly, Callum realized something familiar. At first he couldn’t place it. Then he suddeny knew - the smell. He would recognize it anywhere. Even half-conscious.

Ben.

A new surge of hope rushed through him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heads up that the next chapter could be read as a continuation :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alternative scene to Callum waking up in hospital without Ben by his side
> 
> CHAPTER WARNINGS: -

The first thing Callum heard when he regained consciousness was a beeping noise. It was loud and too high-pitched and Callum almost wished he would zone out again. He let out a frustrated groan as the annoying tone continued, making his head ache. Then he heard something else. Footsteps shuffling around him, a voice calling for a nurse, then his own name.

“Ben?”, Callum pressed out, gathering his strength to open his eyes and looking around. It was harder than it should have been. “Ben.”

His voice was barely a whisper, but he was still heard. He could make out his brother coming up to stand next to him.

“Bruv. You’re awake.”, he grinned down at him.

“Where’s Ben?” Callum still felt drowsy, but suddenly one thought was clear. He had to know Ben was alright. He had to see him. Panic rose in him as he vaguely remembered Keanu screaming at Ben over the phone. Callum didn’t want to imagine what stupid - desperate - thing Ben had done to try to save him. And what it had cost him.

“Why is he not here? Just tell me he’s alright, please!”

Another person appeared in his field of vision. Jay.

“It´s alright. He´s okay. He´s just been running around looking for you for days, so I told him to get a shower before he showed his face again.”

Callum breathed a sigh of relief, his eyes falling shut again. “Can you call him?”, he then asked, “I really need to see him.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some fluff after Ben finds out he has to wait longer than expected for his operation 
> 
> Another one I´m not taking any credit for, because it was based on the following post/idea by @ballumbois on tumblr:  
> https://ballumbois.tumblr.com/post/611387042394488832/what-if-ben-and-cal-are-cuddling-and-watching-a
> 
> CHAPTER WARNINGS: -

Callum let himself fall onto the sofa with a sigh. It had been a long day. First an early start at work with a very distraught customer. And then trying to keep his boyfriend calm on the way to his appointment. The mix of anger, disappointment and fear on Ben’s face as they found out the operation would still take several more weeks of waiting. And even then, there could always be complications, maybe it wouldn’t work at all.

Looking up, Callum saw Ben standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame and blankly staring into space.

“Ben.” Callum stood up again, stepping in front of him to get his attention. Gently, he took Ben’s hand in his. His fingers were ice cold. When he still didn’t react Callum hooked a finger under his chin, softly pushing up until Ben finally met his eyes.

“Hey. C'mere.”, he whispered and as he went to put his arms around him, Ben all but fell into his embrace. He gripped tightly onto his shirt. Callum didn’t know how long they stood there, his hand stroking softly through his boyfriends hair, a movement that he knew helped to calm him down.

When his feet began to go to sleep, Callum slowly pulled back.

He saw a stray tear on Ben’s cheek. With a kiss to his forehead, he wiped it away, before taking his hand once again and leading him to the sofa. Callum lay down, the hand still entagled into Ben’s, pulling the other man down with him.

With the way Ben immediately curled back into him it almost seemed like he had already missed Callum’s arms around him. For a moment, he buried his face in his boyfriends neck, breathing in his scent as Callum continued to stroke gentle circles into his back.

After a few minutes in silence Callum grabbed for the tv remote on the table. He switched through the channels until he found some kind of movie. He wasn’t sure if he knew it, or even what it was about, but it didn’t matter. It was only an excuse to stay like this for little longer anyway.

Ben turned his head towards the undistinguishable mumble of voices, then saw the little icon of the sound being muted appear in one corner of the screen. He looked at Callum confused as he put the subtitles on.

“What?” Callum asked as he realized Ben’s eyes were on him.

“What are you doing that for?”, he mumbled.

The answer came in form of a shrug. “I don´t know. Just… same conditions, I guess?”

Ben couldn’t help the small smile that appeared on his face. The constant noise had already been giving him headaches more ofen than he bothered to count, so he was grateful for the comparatively silent moment. Of course, there was still some kind of rushing in his ears, a static noise that just always seemed to be there now. But when he layed his head back down on Callum’s chest and felt his steady heartbeat he thought that this might be the most peaceful he had felt in a long time. 

And he thought that maybe he could so this.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuation from this weeks scene of their almost-breakup ending in Ben breaking down in Callum´s arms
> 
> CHAPTER WARNINGS: -

This was all too familiar. The pain in Ben’s cries and his own at hearing the sobs that filled the room. They had been here before not that long ago.

Callum couldn’t take it anymore. He couldn’t take just standing by, seeing Ben suffer so much and not being able to help in the slightest. He couldn’t take Ben pushing him away, lashing out whenever he tried.

But the last thing he could do was stop trying. Not when Ben was in such a state. So he let him fall against his chest, let his hand fall to the back of his neck, knowing the comfort it always seemed to give Ben when he let his fingers run through his hair.

Ben’s fist were balling up in a death grip into his coat, but Callum felt how he slowly let himself sink into his embrace. His sobs became even more agitated and as Callum felt Ben’s tears against his neck he realized he was crying as well.

Holding onto him more tightly, Callum pressed his lips into his hair. He didn’t really know how they were going to continue, but the way Ben found comfort in him stroking his hair, Callum couldn’t help but take the same kind of comfort in breathing in his familiar scent.

A long minute later, Callum pulled back. He could practically see Ben’s heart drop at the thought that he was going to leave. But Callum stayed close, just bringing enough distance between them so Ben could look at him.

“You can’t shut me out anymore okay?” The tears were covering both their cheeks by now. “You can’t keep pushing me away. If you want this to work, you gotta let me be there for you.”

When Ben understood, he nodded fiercely.

“Don’t go. Please, don’t go!”, he brought out around another sob.

Callum sighed, then pulled him back in.

“I won’t.” He gently rubbed a hand across his back.

“I won’t.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little drabble inspired by tonight’s ep (Ben´s I love you) and @ballumory´s takes on it over on tumblr. If you havent checked out her blog go do it right now!!! Thank you Ellie for always making all episodes twice as good by sharing your thoughts on them with us xxx
> 
> CHAPTER WARNINGS: -

Ben couldn’t help but kiss him.

He loved him. _He loved him, he loved him._

The number of times the three little words had been on the tip of his tongue, so close to being said. It had taken active restraint to not let these feelings spill out. And yet he had tried so hard, his fear holding him back. He couldn’t have a repeat performance of the last time he had admitted to such feelings.

And here Callum was. Saying all the right things. Things he hadn’t even know he needed to be told. Things that made the love he felt for Callum burn up until his self-control was thrown out of the window.

He had only been half-aware of the words he had blurted out, only realizing the weight they had when Callum opened his eyes.

The last bits of his walls were broken down as Callum stopped him before he could change the topic, signing back.

I love you.

Ben was overwhelmed by the intensity of the feeling that was suddenly taking over everything.

He didn’t realize anything besides _Callum, Callum, Callum_ anymore and before he registered his own movements his lips were pressed firmly against his. Bracing himself with his hands on Callum’s thighs he tried to press closer. Callum let him deepen the kiss with a content sigh.

Still feeling like he needed to be closer, Ben almost lost his balance as he leaned forwards even more and for a second Callum laughed against his lips.

It was the best feeling.

Without breaking the kiss, Ben slowly moved upwards until he was sitting on his boyfriend’s lap. He wrapped his arms around his neck and breathed him in deeply. It was kind of dizzying, this feeling of pure bliss, so he did reluctantly pull back after a second.

“I love you.”, he said again. 

This time his voice was firm. He knew what he was saying and he wouldn’t want to take it back for the world.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a little drabble of Ben trying to convince Callum to isolate with him at the Mitchell house. 
> 
> Again, not taking any credit for the idea behind this one as it is based on the following post by @persephonierose123 over on tumbr:  
> https://persephonierose123.tumblr.com/post/614386256538927104/i-mean-if-anyone-wanted-to-write-a-fic-where-ben
> 
> Tbh I never thought Id write a quarantine/isolation fic and yet here we are 😅 I just had to when I saw the prompt! Hope you like it :) Stay safe!
> 
> CHAPTER WARNINGS: Implication of Covid19 (not directly mentioned though), Self-Isolation

“Please, Cal.”

Callum rolled his eyes as he turned around, trying to step away from his boyfriend who was hanging onto his arm. But Ben didn´t let go.

“Ben. The intention behind this isolation is to - you know isolate - not to take everyone you know with you to lock up together.”, he tried to reason.

Ben gave him an offended look.

“Excuse me, you can hardly be classified under everyone I know!”, he complained. “It´s not like I´m going round the square asking anyone I meet to move in with me. You are my boyfriend after all.”

Callum only gave him a pointed look in return. “Ben, you´re already living at your dad´s with Lo, Jay and Lex. The more people are locked up together, the higher the risk.”

It wasn´t like Callum didn´t want to be with Ben. In fact, if he thought too much about spending so much time apart from him, not even knowing how long this was going to hold on for, an uneasy feeling overcame him. He knew he would miss him like crazy but he tried his best to push that thought away and be reasonable about this. One of them had to be at least.

“Exactly!”, Ben piped up. “Jay and Lola are together as well. So why can´t we be?” He very much sounded like a petulant child arguing that all the other kids were allowed to do something he was getting told off for. It almost made Callum´s strict expression slip as he tried to hold back a laugh.

“Ben.”, he said once more, then sighed in defeat.

And of course, Ben knew him too well, could see his resolve let up.

Grinning, he raised himself to his tiptoes, pressing his lips to Callum´s. The attempt to not let it affect him only held up mere seconds.

“If one of us was already infected, the other one would be too by now.”, he whispered with a winning smile, before deepening the kiss. Callum could be stubborn, but there was no way he could push Ben away from a kiss like that and continue to stand strong on the issue instead. He wasn´t that stubborn.

“You know that´s not all that this isolation is about, right?”, he started one last feeble attempt whispered against his lips. “If one of us does get infected-”, he started but was cut off.

“Stop pretending you´re gonna win this argument and just say yes, will ya?”, Ben mumbled after another deep kiss that Callum couldn´t help but let out a content sigh at.

“Yeah. Yeah, okay.”, he finally gave in. He wouldn´t admit that it was only halfway to shut Ben up so he could keep on kissing him.

Moving in with his boyfriend did sound amazing, even under the circumstances.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Tuesday´s episode (26th May) I felt like I had to write an alternative ending. I haven´t been able to write in quite a while and I still struggle a lot with it, so this is kinda terrible but I tried to push through and post this anyway to hopefully get back into writing soon. Hope you like it anyway *hides*
> 
> CHAPTER WARNINGS: -

Callum knew Ben was far from being alright. He knew his boyfriend, knew his habits of keeping up a brave face, building his walls up even higher than usual the more vulnerable he felt. He wouldn't get him to talk by straight out asking him. It never worked that easily, no matter how much he wished he could help him fight the demons he secretly faced.

So when Ben got up and let him guide his hand towards the speaker he couldn't help but grin, feeling glad that Ben trusted him that much. Talking about his feelings may still have been a struggle but Callum knew Ben let him in more and more as time went by.

A wave of relief washed over Callum as he saw Ben slowly let his mask slip. His eyes fell closed as he leaned his head against the speaker. Callum could feel from his hold on his shoulder and the hand stroking over his arm that the tenseness that had been taking a hold on him for days began to ease. The feeling of the rhythmic beating under Ben's fingertips brought a smile to his face as he recognized the song. When he looked back at Callum there were tears in his eyes and a grin on his lips that let him know he had done the right thing.

Callum waited a little longer to let Ben revel in the feeling - and maybe also because he was distracted by watching his boyfriend - before moving again. He squeezed Ben´s arm to get his attention, and when he did he offered him his hand once more. The hesitance had obviously still not vanished completely, because for a second the uncertain expression was back. But when Ben looked around to scan the room he realized that nobody was giving them any attention and relaxed a little. So he took Callum's hand again.

They stayed close to the speakers, even as Callum pulled him against his chest and Ben let his cheek rest against his shoulder. He was still close enough to reach out and feel the music.

It was strange - Ben didn't know what made him brave enough to let himself be so open and vulnerable in such a public space. If someone had told him he would be here, gently swaying, wrapped up in his boyfriend's arms while a single tear rolled down his cheek, he would never have believed it. But something about the feeling of finally being able to experience music again, even if it was not the same as before, and being able to dance again without feeling weird about it made him not care that much about what was happening around them.

Standing on his toes, he pressed a kiss to Callum's neck. The familiar scent and warmth of the touch made him further relax into his embrace.

"Thank you.", he mumbled into his neck, his tone genuine nonetheless. 

He wasn't sure at first if his voice was loud enough for Callum to hear him but then he felt his lips press against his temple and fingers card through his hair. When he looked up Callum was smiling down at him and the hand that was still entangled in his hair brought their foreheads together.

A warm feeling spread through Ben´s body when he felt Callum trace a heart against his skin.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After almost finishing yet another rewatch yesterday this alternative scene stuck with me. So instead of Callum being kidnapped have some fluff :)
> 
> CHAPTER WARNINGS: -

Callum took a deep breath as he looked in the mirror. Taking another attempt at putting on his tie at least halfway decently despite his slightly shaking hands, he examined his own image.

It was strange how a few words from Ben could build him back up, give him back that little bit of confidence he needed not to throw in the towel before he had even given the whole thing a chance. 

Ben, who had been so against the whole thing. Yet he put all the reservations he had had aside. 

For weeks Ben had tried to get him to change his mind about the whole police thing. Callum knew it was only because he was scared of the seemingly inevitable conflict it would bring with Phil, because he was terrified of losing his dad. He wished he could help him see that the man didn't deserve his loyalty. His love. But that wasn't as easy as he wished it could be, they had been there again and again and Callum knew that it would take time for Ben to see he was worth so much more than what Phil gave him. Still, Ben had put all that aside to encourage him to go for what he wanted.

The thought made a warm feeling mix with the nervous tingles he had felt all morning at the prospect of the assessment later that afternoon.

Still holding the ends of the unfinished tie between his fingers, Callum turned around when he heard the doorbell ring. A grin spread on his face as he crossed the room in only a few quick strides to open the door.

"It's alright. I can do a tie you know?", he said into the speaker, unable to keep the smile out of his voice. He didn't wait for an answer but immediately pressed the buzzer to let Ben in.

How did the thought of seeing him still make him feel this way, even after all this time?

There were quick steps rushing up the stairs and before he knew it Ben was standing in front of him once again.

Callum was about to open his mouth to say something when his boyfriend grabbed his tie, pulling him closer with it. In a blink his lips were pressed against his, the little huff of surprise Callum let out immediately taken advantage of as Ben deepened the kiss.

Callum's hands moved almost automatically - one coming up to his neck to pull him in even closer, the other dropping to his waist, his arm wrapping around him tightly. He could have gotten lost in the kiss, forgotten everything else. The tingles at the pit of his stomach were still there, although for entirely different reasons now. But to his disappointment, Ben pulled away too quickly with one last gentle bite to his lower lip.

"Forgot something.", he said, his voice raspy and eyes half-closed.

Callum had to take a second before he could manage to form an answer.

"Yeah? What's that then?", he finally brought out.

"Goodbye kiss.", Ben mumbled as if it was obvious before pressing another chaste kiss against his now slightly red lips.

Callum´s grin widened.

"Good luck kiss." One more kiss, lingering a little longer, neither of them really wanting to let go.

"You're gonna smash it."

With a last peck and a wink, Ben was out of the door once again.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just some morning snuggles I wrote purely self-indulgently to cheer myself up.
> 
> CHAPTER WARNINGS: -

Callum woke to the sound of birds chirping outside and a ray of sunshine peeking through a gap between the curtains. It had been a warm night but with the window slightly ajar and a breeze streaming in from time to time not too warm not snuggle up close to his boyfriend, falling asleep and waking up wrapped around each other.

Callum smiled as he looked at Ben, still oblivious to the world in a deep and peaceful slumber. Sinking further into the comfort of the sheets, he was content to watch him for a while. How every intake of breath was slow and steady, moving his shoulders that were now rid of all the tension that took ahold of him every day.

There was something about seeing him like this, fully relaxed and without worry lining his face, that made Callum unwilling to look away.

"You're watching me sleep again arent you?", Ben suddenly mumbled. He blinked one eye open just a tiny bit, just enough to see Callum while still trying to remain able to fall back asleep.

"No.", Callum said quietly, not averting his eyes for a second, not even as Ben kept looking up at him.

"You're a terrible liar.", Ben mumbled sleepily.

Callum let out a small laugh.

For a moment they just looked at each other, smiling before Ben's eyes fell close again. A minute later, Callum nudged him to get his attention once more.

"I think I might go for a quick run."

"Nooo.", Ben groaned, his hands gripping a little more tightly onto his shirt. "Stay."

Callum chuckled.

"If this is you trying to convince me to _do my workout with you_ again - that's not gonna work every time you know?"

A grin momentarily spread on Ben's lips before he snuggled up even closer to him, his nose buried into his shoulder as his lips grazed over his collar bone and up to the crook of his neck.

"Just wanna cuddle.", he whispered, his words slightly slurred from sleep.

He stretched to press a soft kiss against his lips.

Callum couldn't help but smile. Moments like this, waking up to the warmth of soft sheets, Ben, and the feeling in the pit of his stomach, were the most comfortable he had ever felt so it wasn't _just_ that he found it difficult to say no to Ben that made him abandon his plans for a little more time of _this_.

Not wanting to let him go, Ben shifted a little, hooking a leg over his so he was now lying halfway on top of him, preventing him from getting up.

"Alright, alright.", Callum laughed loudly. "I'm staying."

Happy with that answer, Ben snuggled back into his neck. Leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses there and across the hinge of his jaw, he whispered into his ear.

"Hmm morning." He hummed, following up with another kiss below his ear.

Callum huffed out a breathy laugh.

"Morning.", he said, loud enough that Ben could feel the vibrations of his words under his lips when he moved his trail of kisses further towards his throat.

"Sleep well?"

Callum only hummed in response, fully focused on the feeling of Ben's lips on his skin. His hand came up to rest at the back of his head, stroking through his hair and keeping him close.

When Ben pulled back again he looked at him lovingly, then gently kissed him.

"Guess I can take one day off from training.", Callum said trying to sound nonchalant, shrugging for good measure, but failing nonetheless.

Ben knew there were very few reasons Callum would skip his morning run and it made his heart fill with love even more knowing that spending time with him could be one of those reasons.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not really a drabble but still something I wrote quickly after the last episode (10th Sep), so I'll post it to this collection of drabbles anyway. (I'm lazy, sue me 😅) I haven't written in a while and never felt so insecure about my writing in general so please be kind.
> 
> This is my take on how their plans to go to Brighton and listen to the seagulls after Ben got his hearing back came about.
> 
> CHAPTER WARNINGS: -

The sun was starting to set as Callum crossed the square on his way home from work. He picked up his pace, looking forward to finally end the day on the sofa with his boyfriend, a cold beer, and an episode of the new show they had started together.

A smile crossed his face at the prospect but when he looked up, it disappeared just as quickly. Across the square, Ben was just passing by in the direction of the Mitchell house. His steps were hurried, shoulders tense, and Callum could swear from the short glance he caught of his face that something was wrong.

The back gate was forcefully pushed open and Ben disappeared from sight. Callum didn't have to think twice before changing his route and following him.

When he pushed open the door to his room, he saw that Ben had let himself fall onto his bed, lying on his back now with his eyes fixed onto some spot on the ceiling. With the last rays of sunshine falling through the window, Callum could make out the tears glistening in his eyes. A few had apparently already escaped, leaving streaks across his temple.

Carefully, Callum stepped into the room and pushed the door close behind him. He let his bag fall from his shoulder, setting it down on the floor as he crossed the room.

"Do you wanna be alone?", Callum asked as he sat down on the edge of the mattress. After all, he had come here instead of the flat.

Ben only gave a tiny shake of his head in answer. The vulnerability in his expression was enough to make Callum want to wrap him up in his arms and never let go.

He quickly toed off his shoes and shuffled up on the bed until he was lying next to him, close enough that if Ben had turned his head they would have been face to face.

"What's wrong?"

Callum watched as Ben swallowed heavily. Another tear escaped his eyes but Callum caught it with a thumb, his hand halting a moment to cup his cheek before he let his fingers run through his hair. He brushed a strand out of Ben's face, waiting quietly for an answer.

"I just-", Ben grimaced, then continued between gritted teeth, "I can't do this anymore." He shook his head as more tears fell. "I can't take another eye-roll when someone realizes they have to repeat themselves because I didn't catch the words. I can't take my dad looking at me like I somehow became even more of a disappointment. Not understanding what half the people are saying because they won't even look at me properly or speak too fast." Ben paused, taking in a frantic breath. "I hate not hearing Lexi do her voices anymore. Jay and Lo making stupid jokes. Not hearing you."

His voice broke off. The sobs that filled the room instead made his shoulders heave.

Callum cupped a hand behind his head, pulling him against his chest. Ben buried his face in his neck, rolling halfway on top of him and clinging to his coat, which - Callum only realized now - he hadn't even taken off yet on his way in. Pressing a kiss into Ben's hair, he gently placed his palms over Ben's ears, knowing the gesture sometimes helped to calm him down.

After a long few minutes, when Ben's tears had seized a little, they were lying side by side on top of the sheets, their faces mere inches apart.

"Tell me about the things you wanna do when you get your hearing back then.", Callum whispered finally.

Ben considered his words for a second but the first answer came out surely and Callum knew Ben had thought about it many times before.

"Listen to Lexi's new Little Mix performance. All strophes."

Callum smiled. Ben's love for his daughter never failed to make his heart swell.

"Sounds great. Then what?"

The second answer took considerably more time. Ben furrowed his brows before he spoke.

"Remember that beach we went to with her? You know, that weekend in Brighton."

"Course."

He would hardly forget their first holiday with all of them together, would he? Even if it was just for a few days. Especially not that last night when they had gone down to the beach again while Lo had put Lexi to bed and they had been out till past midnight. Not when they had walked along the shore for hours that seemed more like minutes, holding hands and stopping to kiss and whisper I love you's under the stars.

"I wanna go there again.", Ben interrupted his thoughts. "I wanna listen to the waves. The seagulls."

"The seagulls?"

Ben looked at him for a moment, biting his lip as he studied his face. Callum could hear the seconds tick by on the clock behind him before Ben spoke again.

"Wanna hear my boyfriend tell me he loves me again." His voice was almost inaudible but Callum's smile and the glint in his eyes made it obvious he had heard him.

"He does.", Callum whispered back, then signed I love you.

Ben grinned as he signed back.

"So that's the plan. That's what we're gonna do.", Callum concluded matter-of-factly.

Ben couldn't help but shuffle closer and kiss him. How did he always manage to make him feel better?

"Thank you."

Callum gave him one of his two-eyed winks, his hand finding its way back into Ben's hair. The way his fingers brushed through his hair made him let out a small sigh.

"Guess you'll just have to distract me by kissing me until then?"

Callum laughed, shaking his head at his boyfriend. He couldn't deny him though.

"I guess I could do that.", he grinned, leaning back in.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little fic of which I posted the first scene on tumblr after Monday's (5th Jan) episode of how Lexi would possibly react if Ben and Callum were to have a fight/split up (which I doubt would happen but I wanted to write this anyway) and continued a bit to post here. It´s more angsty than what I usually write and also mainly focused on Lexi which I´ve never done before, so I hope it's not too bad. It was really fun to write something so different.
> 
> (Also I'm very rusty with my writing since I haven't posted since mid-September so pls forgive me if that's noticeable)
> 
> CHAPTER WARNINGS: -

Callum pulled the door of the flat that was not too long ago his own closed behind him. After Ben had stormed out the night before, the betrayal basically making him run from Callum, he couldn't think of anyone else to go to besides turning up on his brother's doorstep. Where else was he welcome when he had just lost the family he had spend ages trying to find? Even on his way there, he had been unable to stop his tears. Of course, Stuart had known immediately what was up, pulled him into a hug, and got his old bedroom ready for him to stay the night.

His head was still pounding, his eyes still red-rimmed, the picture of how Ben had looked at him once he realized he had lied to him for so long burned into his memory as Callum began to walk. He should have been on his way to work but he really didn't think he could face it. Not today. Not when that was exactly why this was all happening. Not when it had cost him _so much_.

"Callum!"

He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't hear the call at first.

"Callum! Wait!"

Turning around suddenly when he finally realized - Callum's stomach dropped. Lexi. Lola was trailing after her, her expression unreadable.

What was he supposed to say to Lexi? Ben wasn't the only one he had let down, had hurt. The mere thought made Callum's heart squeeze achingly in his chest.

"You and daddy had a fight, didn't you? That's why you weren't there this morning and why he was so grumpy."

Callum didn't know what to say. He could hardly explain everything to her, could he?

"You're gonna make up again though, aren't ya? Like you always do?"

The words made Callum swallow heavily, his chest hurting even more to the point where he was almost wondering if there was seriously something wrong with him.

"I'm sorry Lex. I messed up."

The little, otherwise so witty girl had tears rising to her eyes. Without a warning, she threw herself at him. Callum could only hold her tight as he tried once again to stop the tears running down his face and failing miserably.

"I never meant to hurt you, or your dad. I'm so sorry."

He held on for as long as he could, then squeezed her once more. There were no words to describe the way he hated the thought that was boring involuntary into his head. That maybe this was the last time he could hug her. That he had lost Ben, he had lost her and maybe even Lo. That he'd lost all of them.

\---

Later that day when Lexi came into their living room, Ben was sitting on the sofa, still a little absentminded. He was staring into the distance, biting his thumb, while the thoughts were whirling in his head.  
"Daddy?"

Ben snapped out of his daze.

"Hey, baby. You okay?", raising a hand to her cheek he looked at her worriedly, "Have you been crying?"

“You need to talk to Callum.”, Lexi only said without giving an answer to his questions.

“Oh, Lex. I´m sorry.” Ben´s heart broke to see his little girl so upset. 

“You need to make up with him!”, she insisted.

Ben sighed, squeezed his eyes closed for a second. He couldn´t help the tear falling down his cheek.

“He didn´t mean to hurt you. He really is sorry, I know he is.”

“Lex -”

“No!”, she was crying again, “No, you love each other and he´s part of our family, you can´t give up on him.”

“He lied to me.” 

“You´ve lied to me before.”, Lexi countered.

The accusation hurt. It was true, yeah, but it wasn´t like it had ever been ill-intentioned. He always just wanted what was best for her. “Only ever to protect you, baby.”

Lexi looked at him, not saying anything for a moment. Ben realized what he had said, the implications behind it. He pulled Lexi in, hugged her.

“Talk to him, please.”, Lexi whispered.

“Okay, okay. I will. But don´t get your hopes up, okay?” He kissed her head, then let go of her to get up and brace himself before heading out.

\---

The next morning Lexi walked downstairs for breakfast yawning. She hadn´t slept well after the previous day. When she walked into the kitchen, however, all tiredness was forgotten.

Her dad was leaning against the counter, his arms wrapped around Callum´s waist, the other man smiling down at him. He let his head fall forward, resting their foreheads together.

“I´m so sorry.”, Lexi could hear him whisper.

“Stop apologizing already.”, Ben deflected, then added more softly, “C´mere.”

Callum practically fell into him, hugging him tightly.

“Callum!” Lexi couldn´t help herself from squealing as she rushed towards them. Callum quickly untangled himself from Ben, there to catch her as she jumped into his arms. He sighed with relief, grinning at her excitement.

“I know I´ve only been gone for a day – but I´ve missed you.”

“I´ve missed you, too.”

“Will you practice the choreography with us today?”, Lexi asked excitedly as she pulled back a moment later. “You´ve got a lot to catch up on but I´ll help you.”

Callum let out a laugh, unable to contain it. He hadn´t lost his family after all - and he didn´t think he had ever been more relieved or happy his entire life.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I always love to hear what you thought <3
> 
> Also come chat with me on tumblr @stillamess22 if you like :)


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